A Dance of Work & Grace
I started working as a coach in 2019. Until then, I had been teaching Yoga & Meditation and training kids & school teachers on mindfulness. While I was finding success, everything changed when I got into coaching. It was as if the universe was waiting for me to open the door.
Over the years, I continued to do coach training and seek 1-1 support. If you’re not receiving the medicine you’re giving, something’s off. Put another way, if your coach or therapist doesn’t have a coach or therapist—run!
We constantly need to look at our blindspots, no matter how far along the journey we are. (I'm not very far btw.)
In my training, I learned from one of the premier coach training institutes in the world, Co-Active Coaching. After that, I explored more somatic modalities, heavily influenced by an organization called Evryman. My teachers brought experience in Somatic Experiencing and Hakomi.
Since June, I’ve been on a new coaching journey, learning the skills of Integral Unfoldment with Aletheia.
What attracted me about Aletheia was the radical question they base their work on—“What if nothing is missing?”
Most coaching methods begin with the question of “what’s missing.” After identifying a goal, a coach helps you “close the gap” between where you are and where you want to be. The problem with this is that when you don’t reach your goal, it reinforces a sense of self-deficiency.
While seemingly innocent, this is the “self-improvement trap” because even when we get what we want, we’ll likely find somewhere else we don’t feel satisfied.
Although well-intentioned, most self-improvement plans come from a fragmented place. It’s a part of us trying to compensate for a perceived lack.
The issue is our improvement projects can work. We make a change feel ok for a while, but it’s not sustaining. It’s not True Freedom.
This shows up for me with achievement.
Some part of me feels deficient, like I’m not quite “there.”
To make that part go away, I do something. Maybe I post a blog, create a meditation, or try to book another client. When I do this, and it goes well, I feel good, yet eventually, that fades, and I need it again.
This can seem virtuous, yet underneath the striving lies something I’m not okay with—a feeling that my value depends on external metrics.
Is there another way?
Can we feel a deep sense of self-worth and value without doing anything for it?
Can we still be creative without it coming from a sense of lack?
Absofreaking lutely—and the creativity is so much more powerful!
You hit your goals faster and enjoy the process more.
That is what coaching helps with.
By working in this coaching style, I realize that nothing is missing, that I already have all the qualities of presence—love, calm, compassion, courage, strength, joy, freedom—I am all of these right here and now.
You don’t have to do anything to attain these qualities. You need to remove the obstacles getting in the way.
My teacher & coach, Steve March, is the founder of Aletheia. He calls this style of coaching a Dance of Work & Grace.
Grace is natural & effortless. Grace wants to unfold and saturate our day-to-day life. The problem is parts of us get in the way. And when I say parts, I mean many parts.
There might be a part of us that’s afraid, a part of us that thinks we’re worthless, a part of us that doesn’t believe in ourselves, etc & etc.
Aletheia is influenced by Internal Family Systems (IFS), which says a normal adult likely has 40-60 distinct parts. That’s a lot of opportunity for distorting our connection to grace!
Many of these parts formed during childhood and created protective mechanisms we use today. In yoga, the energetic imprint of these parts is called samskaras, and they block our natural flow of prana.
When prana is flowing, grace is effortless, synchronicity occurs, and we put ourselves on the path that has been there all along.
A life of purposeful flow is what I want for me, for you, and for society—yet so few of us are there—and so goes the endless need for "improvement."
Does the self-improvement trap feel familiar to you?
Have you made changes yet still feel you need to make more changes to get “there”?
I encourage you to ask yourself, “What if nothing is missing?”
Any resistance that comes up is the fragmented parts of you. They point to the work there is to do so grace can unfold in your life.
Does this mean you no longer do anything to get better or hit goals?
Absolutely not. This style of coaching is still coaching. The paradigm shift is instead of working on a goal to be ok, what if you first worked on being ok, and then saw how that helped you attain your goal?
As a coach, I still help you move forward and take action on what’s important to you. What changes is how you take action.
When you no longer need something from the outside, you take action from wholeness.
That action not only has more clarity in it, but it also has more potency because it’s coming from a deeper embodied place, not a superficial coping mechanism.
You have everything you need.
You are already whole, perfect & complete.
If you believe this but haven’t experienced it, maybe it’s time to do some work around it.
If this coaching style resonates with you, consider hiring me as your coach.
I’ve updated my coaching page on my website and included options to work with me, including fees. There are 4-month and 8-month packages plus a brand new, one-time option for a 90-minute creative breakthrough session.
Shoot me an email if you want to work 1-1 together.